Live Long and Prosper

I found out recently that Leonard Nimoy has and uses Twitter. As he is one of my heroes, this pretty much made my life. For about as long as I can remember, I’ve watched him through various Star Trek films. His most recent, of course, being the newest Trek film. There was something very thrilling to me to hear such a beloved science fiction actor say…

Space…the final frontier…

For me, science fiction has been how I’ve been able to expand the frontiers of my mind. Through shows like Star Trek, Battlestar Galactica, and SG-1 among others, I’ve been able to consider new ideas. The concepts of life on other planets, or even people who are more than simply human are made real through clever storytellers like Chris Carter and Gene Roddenberry. They make these perhaps scary ideas more like modern day fairytales to wide eyed girls like me. I love the idea of being able to solve mysteries and explore alongside my favorite heroes. Sometimes, we even save the world.

As my life has been changing a lot lately, it occurred to me that science fiction has been a reassuring constant. I still can watch one of my favorite films or shows and feel like I can escape for a while. I used to try and do that with food or other occasionally more drastic measures. Maybe it’s ok for me to find my escape somewhere fat and hazard free.

Now, all I need is to get cable again and we’ll be set.

Why I Write/And Want To

I’ve written ever since I was young, and I’ve kept doing it because it’s pure escapism for me. My life hasn’t been the most pleasant of things, and writing for me has allowed me to put myself into situations where the world isn’t so scary and sad. I can create characters are who I wish I was, and have them do things I wish I was able to do. Maybe, in some small way, it allows me to deal with my own crap too. I can have a character handle something I’ve faced and perhaps see something I could apply in my own life.

It’s been hard for me to deal with my reality. Life hasn’t been really easy or all that fun. So, I poured it out into poetry and plays. Songs and stories. Most of it, thanks to my overwhelming sense of no value to the universe, was thrown away when I turned 17. I wish I hadn’t done that. 20 years later, I’m starting over. Sure, it’ll probably be a simple beginning. Yes, my poetry won’t be all that special. But, at least it’ll be mine. I spent over 20 years giving away my joy to someone else. Now, it’s my time for joy and wonder in the weavings of words. I have stories again. I think they’re good ones. Now, I just need to set them free.

Happy New Year!

Yes, I know it’s September, but I’ve always felt like a good time to start a ‘new year’ is right after my birthday. After all, that was the first day of my life. So, why not take the opportunity to start fresh. For me, it’s all about outlook. This last calendar year has been pretty awful, so I’ve chosen to chuck the rules and make my year my own. This means the use of a great book called the Awe-manac and more active use of Julia Cameron’s many amazing books. So, here we go!

A new thought I want to think about this year is being happy. I have made decisions in the past where I have surrendered my choice of happiness to other people. I have assumed they would magically know that I wanted to be happy, and do it just because I wanted it badly enough. Yes, I know it’s weird. Consider the source. However, I am now going to focus on what I want and need to be happy in my life. I am then going to put these things into practice as often as possible.

There is no way I can anticipate all the good things that are going to happen this year.

For way too long, I’ve focused on the negative. The divorce. The unemployment. The health issues. I’ve chosen, as I said before, to surrender my happiness and that’s going to change. I have plenty of things in my life I can do to foster my own feelings of happiness and joy. More writing, attempting visual arts, taking pictures, swimming, whatever! Just finding one way each day to remove myself from my situations that are admittedly out of my control. Yeah, they’re going to suck and suck bad for a long time. However, if I choose something different then won’t it be different? I believe so.

So, welcome to the revolution!

Ways to Empower

This is an interesting leson for me. Since I’m flat broke and busted, I’m not entirely sure how I can do a whole lot to empower my creative genius. What I seem to be thinking of costs money, and it isn’t very likely that people will help me with this endeavor. I’ve been seen as something of a ‘lesser artist’ in comparison to my ex-husband or other people around me. So, I’m not really sure. However, here’s what I’ve come up with.

Look through the cookbook I have to find things that might be in my skill range to make
Go shopping for one of the recipes and then make it for Alex and I.
Check out thrift stores for a small desk
Check out thrift stores for a small lamp
Look into making an art journal
Go through supplies I have to see what I could use
Buy a sketchbook/thick papered notebook
Work on Artist’s Way exercises
Get a journal started for Morning Pages
Go to Home Depot to look for paint colors for kitchen
Start swimming daily

Hmm, that turned out better than I thought! Since my mom is visiting, some of these will have to wait. I might be able to sneak some in though. Or, even better, I might come up with others. That’s awesome!

Go me!

Journaling Prompt

Continuing on my work with the creative genius program, I wanted to take a second to work on another journaling prompt. I am actually enjoying these a lot, and it’s good to take a break from the cleaning I’ve been doing. I’m going to answer two in one post though because I’m running out of week. 🙂

Early Bird or Night Owl?
Hoot hoot! Does that answer the question? Just kidding. Seriously though, I am very much a night owl if I have a choice. I like the world quiet, and dark. This isn’t meant as a cop-out, but this poem honestly does describe how I feel about the darkness and the nighttime.

You darkness, that I come from,
I love you more than all the fires
that fence in the world,
for the fire makes
a circle of light for everyone,
and then no one outside learns of you.
But the darkness pulls in everything:
shapes and fires, animals and myself,
how easily it gathers them!-
powers and people-

and it is possible a great energy
is moving near me.

I have faith in nights.
-Rainer Maria Rilke

Cities or the Country
I actually grew up in a somewhat rural part of western South Dakota. At the time, I hated it. I had no close friends nearby, and school took half an hour to get to. It was far more fun for my mom I think, and to this day she still lives there. As for me, I live in the suburbs near Kansas City. So, which do I like better? Eh, neither really? Both? It’s weird and it really does depend on the day. Sometimes, I want to see neon and tons of people. Sometimes? I just want to be left alone. I didn’t come to the woods to live deliberately when I was a kid, but I wouldn’t mind it from time to time now that I’m an adult. Go figure.

Creative Genius Week 2-Journal Prompts

This is going better than I expected. Normally by now, I pack it in with the blog thing. So, this is major progress. Following ABC Creativity’s course, here’s another of the blog prompts.

Food. More specifically, what do I like to eat? Sadly, the shorter answer would be what don’t I like to eat. I love food, and I haven’t always had the healthiest relationship with it. When I was younger, I ate when I was sad or lonely. When I was older, I ate to make the frustrations of my life dim even for a little while. However, that does leave me with some pretty clear ideas as to what I like.

I know a lot of people who might read this will eye me funny, but I do eat meat. I always have save for the occasional experiment, and I sincerely doubt that will change. Living where I do though, that does afford me a lot of chances to have it well prepared. My dad is an expert on the grill, and while he’s gotten a little creative..he can make chicken that literally melts in your mouth. I also like this place here called Houlihan’s. They make a chicken sandwich with provolone and honey mustard. Ugh, so good.

Try as I might..I can’t not eat this stuff. I shouldn’t spend the insane amount I do at the movies, but I do. Thankfully, I’ve started buying the value boxes of microwave stuff. Otherwise, I’d be living on the streets. (Only, not really.) My favorite thing in the world is a bag of PopSecret and some lemonade.

Or, more specifically, Simply Lemonade in the raspberry flavor. It’s tart. It’s sweet. Pour it over ice and it’s a party in your mouth. Yes, I know it’s not food but it makes me happy and this is my blog. Sort of a my house, my rules sort of thing.

Chips and dip
This is going to cover two loves in one blurb. Chips and French Onion Dip (from Kraft), and Chips an Queso. Both are normally eaten with the lemonade listed above or ice water. I have gotten very picky with how I eat my junk food. Hey, hydration and sugar quotas for the day are important.

As weird as it is, I’m starting to like this stuff. I prefer the strawberry sorts, but I’ve also started including banana and blackberry. I have never been overwhelmingly health conscious. That’s mostly because it was forced upon me and I dug in my heels at the idea. However, now that it’s not, I’m finding things I enjoy.

I don’t know. I think it’s weird for me to actually not feel ashamed of liking food. I am overweight, so people automatically look at me a certain way if I like something. That ticks me off every time. So, I just eat what I eat and don’t put a lot of thought into it. Weird, huh?

Geek & Gamer Girls

There’s a video floating around YouTube and Facebook with the same title as this entry. It’s a parody by a group called Team Unicorn of Katy Perry’s ‘California Girls’. Before I saw it, I thought the idea was pretty clever. Afterwards, I was a little less than impressed. Like the video for the original, the song has a nearly naked singer..who isn’t very good by the way..but this one is laying on a pile of comic books and video games. It’s not that I mind nudity. Underneath our clothes, we’re all the same. However, what I take issue with is the fact that apparently geek girls would like nothing more than to role around nearly naked on the stuff we enjoy.

Uh, no.

As a self proclaimed geek who is probably getting a little long in the tooth to call herself a girl, I take issue with the fact that it’s ok with make us as cheap and tawdry as the video for Perry’s song. What Perry does right is that she makes the entire video very fanciful and a little silly. That does take away from some of the pointed sexuality. It does it enough that you can focus on the fact that she can in fact sing. The Team Unicorn video just flat goes for the lowest possible denominator and that’s sort of sad. What’s worse is that you add geek heroes like Stan Lee, Seth Green and Battlestar Galactica’s Katee Sackhoff and the whole thing seems like a big publicity stunt. (Which it probably is.)

I’m not saying that geek girls are serious and don’t have a sexual bone in their bodies. Far from it. What I’m saying is that making it a little more fun and a little less PG-13/R rated would have been a nice touch. The lyrics are extremely clever, and include tons of pop-culture references that made me laugh. Unfortunately, when you put the lyrics with a poor singer and a poorly thought out video and it just falls a little short.

So say we all. Or, at least me.

An Arguement for Jake Gyllenhaal

Say what you want about the Gyllenhaal siblings. It’s been my belief since ‘Day After Tomorrow’ that Jake at least is one of the more interesting actors working today. There is no doubt that he is a handsome man, but he is also someone who reminds me of friends I’ve had in my life. He doesn’t always make the perfect expression, or come across sounding sincere and intelligent…but he certainly is realistic. He seems like someone you would know, and would want on your side in the various plots his movies have had.

After watching ‘Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time’, I have finally just decided that he’s someone who I am not ashamed of saying I enjoy. The entire movie was a reminder to why the Disney people know how to make a family friendly adventure. There was so little swearing that it didn’t register, non-graphic violence, and nothing overtly sexual if you take into account that people of the period did indeed have harems and sometime multiple wives. Of course, there was the love story but again it was so artfully played that it came across as very sweet with a healthy dose of sarcasm.

While I wouldn’t call myself a Gyllenhaalic, I would gladly admit to being a fan. I think he’s someone whose work continues to improve the older he gets, and I sincerely hope that the next Oscar nomination he gets results in a win.

Trailers for some of Jake’s most recent work:
-Also starring Reese Witherspoon

-Also starring Gwyneth Paltrow

Prince of Persia:The Sands of Time
-Also starring Sir Ben Kingsley and Alfred Molina

Creative Genius Course-Journaling Prompts

And hey look, I haven’t died off yet! Hooray! As I continue to follow the Creative Genius course, I’m now in the process of exploring my creative genius and what it has to say about some things. I decided that if there was a visual component I could use then I’d include some links so you can see things the way I do. The first one is very much that, so here we go.

Favorite Colors

I’m glad this didn’t ask for just one, or I’d have been in trouble. I love color, and while I haven’t been very good at using color as an artists..I love having some colors around me.

-Apparently, this is a trick of the light on the gas rings of Saturn.

-A green hummingbird (This photo is kind of large)

-A really neat picture of a purple daisy

Now, to take it one step further, here are some of the colors in things I enjoy, as well as other bold color statements.

One of the things I loved about Stargate Atlantis was that it had this sort of tranquil quality in the buildings and how it was surrounded by the sea.

The reimagining of Battlestar Galactica had a lot of very bold colors. The blue was worn most often by the Galactica’s officers.

Another Battlestar Galactica picture. This one is of Six, who was one of the Cylon models. The red dress became something of an iconic image for the series, and I loved how the character didn’t always have to speak because of it. You just saw her and knew certain things about the stories.

Green, black and badass
Another iconic image..this time from The Matrix. One of the most recognizable part of the franchise is the scrolling green code of the Matrix. Add to it my favorite character and there you go.

Far from being a Twi-hard

When the Twilight series came out, I was intrigued. I thought that a new vampire series might be pretty awesome, so I gave it a shot. To say I was disappointed would be putting it mildly. My experience with vampires has been based along the lines of the White Wolf vampire games, and it’s been fairly straightforward. Vampires, to be blunt, are killers. They’re not sparkly, can’t do well in the daylight, and they can’t father children. They’re not this tamed version that Stephenie Meyer would have us believe are blood-thirsty and brutal.

That’s why I liked them.

Now, that being said, I did make my own character from the source material. His name is Stringfellow Raine. I’ve been working on him as a character since about 1999. I started with the basic World of Darkness mold, and then I started adding my own color and texture. What came from it was about a 2000 year old vampire who hadn’t lost his soul or his humanity when he was turned. Please don’t confuse this though with him being a shiny, happy do-gooder though. He struggled for over 100 years with his nature, and failed on a spectacular level on many occasions during that century. In the end though, he finally found a path and he’s stuck with it since. It’s on that path that he’s chosen to become someone who attempts to preserve history through the art gallery he runs. He’s also someone who has chosen to preserve life when possible. He doesn’t feed in the traditional fashion, though he has never set foot in a blood bank in his life and has no plans on starting. He has killed, but would define his reasoning for it as his choosing to kill people who haven’t earned a right to keep breathing. (Rapists, murderers, drug dealers) Mostly though, I think he’s different because he does keep a sense of his own humanity through the reflection on his experience.

I guess what bothers me most of all about Meyer’s vampires (and werewolves) is that she makes them so one dimensional. She is allowed to get away with the fact that she has a character spiral in to self-destruction, and basically get away with things that a normal teenage girl would never have a chance to. She’s also allowed to do one thing that I find really revolting.


Thank you, and good night.

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